when a boy comes over, makes out with you passionately, then runs to the bathroom to vomit, then comes back and asks sweetly if he can smoke some of your secret stash of weed cause it will help with the vom aftermath, is it weird to big spoon him all night?
just wondering.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
cheryl lee i lurv you
when she says stuff like "exercise your faith muscles," I smile with my eyes, i swear!
i would consider giving up men altogether if i could live in a little cottage with cheryl lee. She could tell me optimistic things about my future whilst i sip a hot cup of melted chocolate on the couch with an episode of how i met your mother gently whispering throughout the room.
cheryl doesn't even KNOW how many times i've written her name on bits of paper and handed them out to desperate girls on their cycle. true love needs to be shared.
i would consider giving up men altogether if i could live in a little cottage with cheryl lee. She could tell me optimistic things about my future whilst i sip a hot cup of melted chocolate on the couch with an episode of how i met your mother gently whispering throughout the room.
cheryl doesn't even KNOW how many times i've written her name on bits of paper and handed them out to desperate girls on their cycle. true love needs to be shared.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
WHAT I LOOK FOR IN A MAN
must be man-child
must sulk in his drink
must never offer to buy me a drink
must not make eye contact
must speak in a deep, monotonous voice
must have brown hair and brown eyes LIKE ME! apparently, we find people who look like us. like an owner and his dog.
must be impressed by my plant collection
must have mommy issues
must respond well to my decisive jewish nature especially when it comes to getting a table at a crowded restaurant
must talk endlessly about himself
must trick you into thinking he is not talking endlessly about himself by the low volume of his voice
must love tv
must sulk in his drink
must never offer to buy me a drink
must not make eye contact
must speak in a deep, monotonous voice
must have brown hair and brown eyes LIKE ME! apparently, we find people who look like us. like an owner and his dog.
must be impressed by my plant collection
must have mommy issues
must respond well to my decisive jewish nature especially when it comes to getting a table at a crowded restaurant
must talk endlessly about himself
must trick you into thinking he is not talking endlessly about himself by the low volume of his voice
must love tv
I MIGHT AS WELL BE DATING SNOOP DOGG
cause all the boys i date would rather cuddle with a bong than a woman. Why?
and they leave the toilet seat up and never make my bed! But really, why?
and they leave the toilet seat up and never make my bed! But really, why?
Friday, January 28, 2011
THINGS I THINK ABOUT
Here is a list of things I think about in no particular order:
boys
tv characters
tv relationships
high school football players
flowers
plants
new growth on plants
mommy issues
cuddling
dessert
puppies
yoga
trying not think about food during yoga
writing a romantic comedy
being a woman
men with speckled grey hair
all the choices out there
why i always go for the same things regardless
boys
tv characters
tv relationships
high school football players
flowers
plants
new growth on plants
mommy issues
cuddling
dessert
puppies
yoga
trying not think about food during yoga
writing a romantic comedy
being a woman
men with speckled grey hair
all the choices out there
why i always go for the same things regardless
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